Ready For The Show Down

I'm typing with wrist supports on, it's more difficult than I thought it'd be. My fingers feel a million miles away from the keyboard.

You might wonder why I'm wearing wrist supports. It's because I had just over a week of hauling large metal tiles of doom. That's manual hauling, none of that using a truck or a forklift. Hence my wrists feel like they've been sawn in half.

Tomorrow I'm back at it, so I thought I'd come prepared this time. My old rollerblade wrist protectors are coming out of retirement.

By the way, the sun wasn't out to full strength today so I'm yet to prove the Superman theory. It was a muggy day, hot but no real sun. Maybe tomorrow it'll be Superman strength sun, can't promise anything as it's been extremely overcast.

So today's topic, well, I haven't got one.

Or maybe I have. It's controversial to some people. I'm not really bothered but some people get excited about this kind of thing. Yes, same sex marriage. There's an advert running at the moment on the web, making same sex marriage look cool.

I'll describe it to you, if you haven't seen it yet. It starts out with this first person perspective of someone meeting a guy. It goes on this whole journey through the eyes of the some disembodied person. Dates, fights, hanging out with friends, going on holiday, meeting the parents, getting lost, laughing out loud, an illness in the family and then a marriage proposal at the end. The big reveal at the end is that the first perspective person is a guy and it's a guy proposing to him. Shocking, I don't think so.

I watched it, and wondered to myself how anyone could believe a marketing strategy like that. It was obviously aimed at women, as everything was pretty in it. The guys were pretty, the friends were pretty, the places were pretty, and even the parents were pretty. I thought, wow, someone knows how to target an audience.

Then my friends who are women started posting it on facebook. Saying how amazing it was. I don't even think they realised that they'd been targeted. A simple role reversal, show a woman everything she wants in life, then make it a guy receiving the treatment she really wants. I'm surprised they didn't have a puppy bit in it, then again not all women like animals, but they do like romance and super big gestures to make them feel important.


I felt a gesture coming on with my middle finger at the campaign. Not through the subject matter, but that marketing people would stoop so low to appeal to women's weaknesses and then use it to their own advantage. I know it gets done a lot in marketing but this seemed lower than usual. Emotional blackmail, through a woman's life expectations.


I've posted on my friends facebook pages, but I doubt they'll listen, as they've already been sold.

Searching For Sunlight

I forgot to sniff the sunlight today. Even though there was a huge amount of it around.

Guess I'll have to discover its fancy smell another day. Maybe it'll be like vanilla. Apparently Superman smells like vanilla according to Louis Lane and some super powered lady villain who kissed him. Probably because Superman is powered by the sun. Tomorrow I'm going to test out the theory, that Superman smells like vanilla due to the sunlight that powers him.

I'll probably disprove it, but it's worth a shot. Much better than watching TV at home. Sniffing the sunlight and working out if it's anything like Superman's armpit.

Today's topic is Cluedo, for no other reason than it can be.

Do you think Columbo ever played Cluedo? I can imagine him, back bent, nose low, over a tattered board of Cluedo. Trying to work out the clues, while chewing on a stubby cigar.

"You were in the library, when I was in the study, but you weren't because the microfilm never left the kitchen after I made a BLT sandwich with extra mustard."

Eyes twitching and strained in the direction of the other players, he'd probably rock back on his heels, slouching into his comfy seat and then wave his hands up in defeat. Like he normally does, pretending to know nothing, then quietly unraveling everything when the villain thinks he's a complete bonehead.

Columbo you've done it again, you've won at Cluedo. Now we can move the dead bodies and get on with that game of Twister.

Smell My Sunlight

Welcome to my first blog post on this blogger site.

Thank you for your time, effort and falling over your own shoelaces, to make it to this not so private space.

I'm probably going to be writing some loopy stuff on this blog as I'm going to use it as an outlet. Much in the same way as raw sewage was pumped into the Thames in the Nineteenth Century, I'll be pumping some lovely emotions into this blog. This blog will probably stink a little.

Therefore, douse your curtains in lime and paint your walls white so you can stay on track. By staying on track, I mean, find it bearable to put up with the stink of my caustic writing. Don't go rubbing any of these words on your skin as you might need medical attention.

I'm going to attempt not to use exclamation marks in this blog. Normally I use a bucket full, just to show people the high points in my writing. They've been banned. Also, I normally use ellipsis for dramatic intent, I've banned that too. You can use them in your comments, I'm just trying a novel way of writing. Hopefully it won't be too boring and I'll be able to convey emotion without my two favourite writing weapons.

A brief pause to show I am sad about not using them.

Now back to the jolliness of thinking about how curtains were thought to be able to keep out stinks. Normally a curtain keeps out light, not the smell attached to the light. Sunlight must smell because people sneeze when they are exposed to too much sunlight. Do you think our brains could decide or come up with a definition of what sunlight smells like?

Write me a fun definition of what sunlight smells like. If you can't, I'll have to answer my own question, and that will make me look slightly foolish.


You can tie your shoelace now, if you want to.